Thursday, 30 July 2015

Barren Mind, Dry Pen...

It has been a busy weekend, of much coming and going.  I taught at Amma's school at Ettimadai, outside Coimbatore.  I gave away awards and spoke at a global conference of the Nagarathar community.  I attended the inaugural pitch of an angel group that is starting off in Coimbatore. 

All of that between two consecutive nights that I spent on a train in all of thirty six hours.  And I almost missed my train back to Bangalore as sleep overpowered me in the last twenty minutes of my four hour wait for the train at Coimbatore railway station.

Amma's campus is something else.  Quite apart from its frugal functionality, where everything worked exactly as it was supposed to, the whole place looked like it was out of a children's picture story book, with trees and flowers and birds and even a railway track passing through the middle of a large expanse of verdant dream come true nestling in the foothills of the Western ghats.

I refer to it as Amma's campus because ownership is a more powerful metaphor than we may all realize.  We often associate ownership with the mere rights and benefits that it confers.  But ownership is just as much a matter of what you give to what you "own." 

Amma's campus is a perfect example of the complete ideal of ownership.  It is an outstanding example of how much Amma cares for the various activities or initiatives that she takes up.  If it was not for her infinite love for the people who are part of her world, Amma would pass for a hard driving, slave driver of a boss. 

It was thus a very different weekend in many ways.  A weekend that left me with lots to reflect on, to write about.  It felt like what people must mean when they talk about living life to its fullest.

Yet my mind feels very barren.  My pen seems to have run dry. 

All that I can seem to recall is the dull pain that I felt as the rain poured heavily on the green lawns of Amma's campus, reminding me of Anita Nair's piece Where the Rain Begins, as the peacocks heralded the rains with their raucous, loud calls that cut through the heavy stillness of the hills, reminding me of the vivid and painful imagery in Kalidasa's Mayurasandesam, vast bits of which I learned in school as part of my Sanskrit lessons. 

Unable to bear the sheer pain of that captivating beauty outside I shut myself up in the Spartan but clean room inside Amma's guest house, preparing to speak on one of the most dreary and uninspiring topics perhaps:  risk financing.

At the end of that whistle-stop sojourn, as I sat on platform no 3 of Coimbatore railway station, downing endless cups of hopeless coffee and watching Thattathin Marayathu for yet one more time, possibly the nineteenth, my mind was a strange jumble of scenes from the previous eighteen hours or so and visuals from the movie.

And that is all that I seem to be able to say about what may well have been one of the more fulfilling Saturdays of my long life.

Nanni....Namaskaaram...

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

When the chickens come home to roost

It was a red letter day of the wrong kind last week.  I flunked an exam for the first time in my life.  Throughout my life, even when I have appeared with no preps whatsoever I have never failed an exam.  I have been long-listed in personal interviews.  But a written exam?  I have never failed in one.  So much so I had come to believe that it was my birthright of sorts to pass exams!

It was a professional exam, a tough one at that.  I had no time to prepare thanks to my heart beating incessantly for the cause of entrepreneurship, like Mandela's must have for South Africa or Mahatma Gandhi's for India.  Well I am exaggerating. But you get the picture, right?

But those are not the chickens coming home to roost.  It was my emotional excesses of the past year that seem to have also contributed in large measure.

And no less a person than Lakshmi, my wife, cottoned on to that.  So when I mentioned to her the result, for the first time in our married life she reprimanded in no ambiguous terms.  She attributed the failure squarely to what she believes was, and continues to be, my misplaced affinities and the way they have distracted mw.  And that I was paying the price for neglecting my own professional priorities.

I cannot fault her.  I believe there is more than a grain of truth in her rant.  Given that I seem to have flunked by a whisker it is possible to argue that if I had channelized my energy to the exam preps instead of losing myself in discovering non-attainable, if not non-existent, relationships I may just have picked up enough marks to have cleared the damn paper.

And it is not just her anger that is killing.  It is the realization that it will mean all the loss of time and money before I hit the road again that is just as smothering.  And that is if I muster the courage to appear for it again, which I may not as far as I can see now.

At the end of it I feel all worn out now - my inability to manage the many demands on my life, my atrophying brain, my emotional indiscretion and what not. I should not and cannot add Lakshmi's anger to that list.  She has been a patient Griselda all these years.  Her anger and my failure that triggered it are just part of the chickens coming home to roost. 

I pray to the Almighty to give me the good sense to come out of it all, pick myself up and move on, leaving that exam and its pursuit behind and just focus on what I seem ordained to do - run NSRCEL like the bureaucrat that I am.  

Nanni....Namaskaaram...

Saturday, 18 July 2015

The Bands of Kerala


This will be my 53rd post.  I never imagined that I would end up writing so many of them.  The quality of writing is another matter.  A friend recently sent me links to his posts.  And that was like someone holding a mirror to me to show how I must come across when I send these links across to various people.  That was the reason, among others, for cutting the mailing list down.   

After pouring my heart out in the past few posts I intend to write something trivial in this post, bordering on the banal.  This post was inspired by a nephew, an amazingly bright kid of 11th standard, who has all the hallmarks of a spaced out prodigy.  Running out of the bath with unwashed soap on him is one example of the other worldly presence of this bright young man. 

Equally my involvement with the subject of this post started when I was first exposed to one of their songs by a connection that can be traced back to my failed attempt at playing father.  As many may have noticed much of my writing in the past few months has been triggered by the pain of that failure. 

Every work of art needs a muse.  I am quite sure that my posts are no work of art.  But they certainly have a muse, although not the way muses are traditionally understood.

Kerala has always been big on music, a similarity that they share with Bengalis.  I am not sure though that they produce the kind of seriously rigorous classical music of the level of sophistication that one sees in Chennai or Hyderabad or even Bangalore or Mysore for that matter. 

In recent times several new bands entered the scene, each introducing a variant of what was available in the market, mixing a little bit of various other pre-existing genres. 

Agam is a classic example of this trend.  They claim to perform what they call Progressive Carnatic Fusion Rock.  Their fusion is smooth and seamless, yet they are deeply rooted in Indian classical music, mostly the Carnatic variety.  Listen to this piece for example, which got me started off on listening to these bands. 


And another signature piece is here. 


The best thing about Agam is the way they work traditional Carnatic pieces into a rock orchestra in the background.  No one else does it as well as them.  I guess they are able to do so because they seem to know classical music well.  To that extent they literally own the genre they claim to have created.   

I guess the other nice thing about them is their lead who is quite talented.  But as a singer I think Harish is over-rated.  His voice delivers flights easily.  But it is not as solid or deep as that of many other lead singers.  Listen to this rendition for example where he seems to be out of his depths (sorry, pun intended.)


The rest of the band is also mediocre except the lead guitarist.  The drums especially are pedestrian. 

The Job Kurian collective is another band that seems to have caught the fancy of the young adults in Kerala with Padayaatra.  Follow this link to the listen to the song. 

But the rest of their songs did not catch my fancy.  Job is a good singer.  I do not see the band itself making waves for long. 

The whole band movement seems to have started with Avial.  Alas they are not around any longer.  These guys were truly awesome. Rex Vijayan the lead guitarist is something else.  Their drummer is pretty decent. 

Overall, the band creates a terrific pulse even with some ordinary sings.  I guess it is all the result of their lead singer Anand Benjamin Paulraj (ABP).  Listen to these two songs to understand what I mean.  Pay attention to the lead singer and Rex Vijayan in particular.



The other thing you may have noticed is the sheer economy of the use of instruments by Avial.  It proves something that I believe about bands.  It is not about the number of instruments in the band.  It is how you bring them together that matters.  There are bands that seem to have so many instruments’ leaving you wonder if they are all adding to the melody or turning the music into cacophony. 

While I do not know why the band went out of existence, I think the band did not get its lead singer act together.  ABP  seems to have migrated to the USA.  To get a sense of how critical he was to the band, watch this video and look at the comments below.  You will see that the band lost much of its mojo with the departure of ABP.

Watch this video at the link below to see how the band mismanaged the lead singer part of its show.  The same chekele by Tony is a poor comparison.  Also see the comments below where the audience is rooting for ABO.  Elsewhere on other videos you read the same refrain - Avail just did not have enough good lead singers.  And Tony did not seem to realize that he is not quite the right lead for numbers like chekele where you need the volume of ABP's huge barrel of a torso!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcyhsAho8b0

For aspiring bands in Kerala there is much to learn from the history of these bands.

The ruling king of the pack, going by the number of concerts in and out of Kerala is Thaikkudam Bridge. While the band has some great guitarists and percussionists, I somehow never felt lured into wanting to listen to them. The band seems to have no character that gives them an identity as a brand of music, giving them the appearance of a music troupe of yesteryears.   

Listen to these videos to understand what I mean. 


Thaikkudam is also an example of a lot of instruments making a lot of noise, leaving you wondering where the melody is.  I keep going back to Agam’s songs notwithstanding many things about them that could get better.  I just don’t feel the same attraction towards Thaikkudam 

The newest kid on the block is  Masala Coffee.  Here are a series of videos of the band. 

Masala Coffee seems to have gone about their entry strategically. They seem to have addressed every department of their music offering methodically – a deep bench of good lead singers, good guitarists although there is none that is outstanding, wide range of percussion and a combination of covers and their own songs. 

What is striking about one of their lead singers, Varun Sunil.  This guy is one helluva versatile fellow.  Just look at the range of things this fellow does.



They also do a decent job of oscillating between the rapid and the slow numbers. 

What I miss in them of course is a signature that characterises them as a genre, unlike Avial or Agam. 

The other interesting thing about them is their ability to deliver Hindi numbers with nearly the same authenticity as any North Indian troupe. This is an interesting contrast to the feeble attempt by Harish of Agam to perform a Hindi song that we saw earlier. 

I can go on and on.  I must stop for now.  God willing I hope to spend more time getting to know these bands, their origins and their stories for its own sake.  There is a veritable explosion on the band scenes.  And with luck I do hope to write another piece where I sum up my thoughts from listening to these bands for a long time. 

Before I sign off I do wish you would listen to this song from Prayaan, which does not strike me as quite a band as in the sense of the others.  But this one song of mine brings me back memories those days when I started listening to these bands and the circumstances in which I developed a taste for their music.  And this man Jithin Raj really is a gifted singer.  Take it from a man who can make out good classical music when he hears it.
Those circumstances are behind me now, leaving behind just a painful cloud of memories and my love for these genres of music that I acquired during those days.  In my hyperlinked world, these songs will always short-circuit me back to the memories of those days.
Nanni….Namaskaaram…

Thattathin Marayathu and Thalassery

I must have watched this movie around a dozen times now.  That is not unusual with me.  For some years now I have realized I have obsessive tendencies.


Lakshmi thinks that I am smitten with Isha Talwar's looks.  I suspect that there may be some truth in it.  She is the totally fictional ideal of a girl that is impossible not to fall in love with.  She has it all:  Looks, musical and literary talent in plenty, a very pleasing nature, yet understated and lineage. 


Above all she has the ability to fall in love, seemingly recklessly.  But when you reflect more it turns out that she has the instinct of an intelligent and well-educated woman who can smell the genuineness of a man's affection for her.


As I do very often when I like a movie or story a lot I tend to dig into its backdrop and the characters.  That is when and how the story comes alive to me. In an earlier post I noted how our understanding of the western classics will never be the same as that of a westerner; because we do not live the life of a westerner, we do not speak his language.


My digging into the backdrop for this movie tells me how little I know of the social milieu in which its story is set.  The life of a college student in Thalassery and of the Hindu-Muslim social equations there make the context so different in a way that I do not know it well enough to be able to get underneath the skin of the dramatis personae.


Being able to fully appreciate a story requires that ability - to see the world through the eyes of that character. And the hallmark of a truly great writer lies in her ability to effectively transport you to that world of make believe.


The movie does that part very well.  It presents a good portrait of each of the characters, even that of Ayesha's father whose appearance is so short that it could pass off for a cameo role. So that is the trick:  You know enough about the character to see him or her in the context of that narrative.  I call that economy of narration.


And that is what makes me go back to the movie.  Every time I view it I get to notice a thing or two about the context that escaped my attention on the previous occasions. 


I dug up on Thalassery as I watched the movie.  And I realized how little I know about the state I hail from. 


Thalassery is a town with a deep sense of history.  A history that has not been as widely appreciated as it ought to have been.  It is ironic that towns like Thalassery do not receive a fraction of the attention that the narrative on the East India Company and Siraj ud Dowla receive, for example, from historians studying the advent of Europeans in India.


I wish I could spend a few days there, wander through the corridors of the college where the romance between Vinod and Ayesha blossomed.  I wish I could feel the breeze on Muzhappilangad beach where the French and the Portuguese landed many centuries ago.  I would like to go and see those places where Pazhassi Raja plotted his military moves.


Needless to state it will bring back painful memories of another coastal town in Malabar that I fell in love with.  I need to brace myself for that.


Nanni...Namaskaaram... 

Friday, 10 July 2015

God provides


That is the title of the story that my nearly ten-year old twin practiced for a talent show in his school.
For reasons best known to him he chose to tell a story when all his classmates chose to sing, dance, mime and so on.  And on top he chose this story of all.  As I thought about it I was wondering if this choice had anything to do with his professed choice of wanting to “become a professor like my father when I grow up.”
And so here is the story as copied from the script that he wrote by himself in preparation for the show.
Once upon a time there lived in a kingdom a poor cobbler.  Those were the days when kings and queens ruled the world.
The cobbler was a happy man  although he was poor.
The king of the country was in the habit of going around in disguise to see if his subjects were happy.  One day the king came across this poor but happy cobbler.  He asked him how he was so  happy even though he was poor.  The cobbler replied, “ The Lord provides,Sir”.
The king was a vain man.  He was angry that the cobbler thanked God and not him for his happiness.  He passed a rule that the cobbler could no longer ply his trade.
The next day he went to look up the cobbler in another disguise.  He found that the poor cobbler was now a poor wood-cutter.  The king asked the wood-cutter the same question:  What makes you so happy when you are so poor.  And the wood-cutter replied, “Sir, the Lord provides.”
The king was even more angry.  He passed another rule that the wood-cutter could no longer fell trees or cut wood. 
On the third day the king went around in another disguise in search of the wood-cutter.  He found that he had become a soldier and was happy as ever.  The king asked the soldier what made him so happy.  He got the same answer, “Sir, the Lord provides.”
The king was very angry by now.  He removed his disguise and threatened the soldier that he would have to fight a duel with his commander in chief.  Much to his surprise the weak soldier managed to defeat the able commander in chief. 
The king was taken aback.  He offered the soldier the job of a minister in his cabinet.
The soldier replied, Your Majesty, that is too big a job for me. I am happy to be a cobbler again.  As I always say, the Lord provides.”
I asked my son if the story would win a prize when others might sing and dance.  His reply surprised me.  He said, “Dadda, I like this story very much.  I would like to narrate it at the show.  It does not matter if I don’t get the prize.”
With great trouble I held back my tears for fear of letting him think his father is a weakling.  I do not what brought those tears to my eyes.  Was it the powerful and moving message in the story?  Was it the fact that my son chose to narrate it without caring about winning a prize?  Was it the sense of wonderment at how this boy does not seem to inherit any of my hard-heartedness or worse cussedness? Is it because I am a middle aged man, now given to foolish sentimentality?
I do not know.  As with many other puzzling matters in my life I am not sure I ever will.
Nanni….Namaskaaram

The shutting down of a website


I come from a world and a past life where I have been trained to look at the opening and shutting down of businesses as just another economic data point.  But once in a while the human side of my self gets the better of me and I tend to reflect on the story behind the success or the failure of enterprises.

When Manjula Sridhar, with whom I recently struck up a professional acquaintance, forwarded this piece I was transported to one such world of reflection.  Here is the link to the story. http://calacanis.com/2015/07/01/circas-biggest-crime-was/

And more about this amazing woman Manjula Sridhar whom I am beginning to admire the more I get to interact  with her, for her belief in what I call the pure form of entrepreneurship.  The pure form tries to solve a genuine problem for its own sake and creating an economic engine like an enterprise is a means to solve that problem in an economically sound way. 

Like me, Manjula seems to be not very excited about the current view of entrepreneurship as a one way street to a billion dollar valuation in less than five years, no matter what you do to get there.  And like her I wish I could move around in public transport and live a full life, all on my terms.


The story set off many questions that Manjula and I exchanged.  About whether capitalism leads to necessarily the most desirable outcomes for society, for example.  Businesses that serve a socially relevant purpose for instance do not seem to survive simply because they cannot generate the rate of growth in valuation that investors often seem to seek.

And cheerleaders in our media of this kind of highly blinkered view of allocation of financial capital seem to perpetrate the belief among aspiring entrepreneurs that this is the only form of entrepreneurship that is worth pursuing.

Social outcomes do not matter in the process.  And not to speak of any notion of responsibility that business must have towards society.  As long as they deliver returns to investors, enterprises lead to Pareto optimal outcomes.  Or so it would seem is their belief.

The trouble with this view is that there is no room for social costs and investments in this calculus!

Anyway I think this is a matter on which the views of pea-sized intellects such as mine will make any difference.  But I guess this corner in cyberspace is my little world where I lay bare my thoughts and feelings, as I have said many times before.

And so here my tears for poor little Circa, whom I describe as a victim of a joint conspiracy hatched together by sensational journalism and senseless capitalism.
Nanni...Namaskaaram

Of talking mountains and roaring seas…


I have been working away like a zombie in the past few weeks.  It has been thanks to a confluence of circumstances. 

Activity at the Centre has increased so much that I never seem to have enough time.  And then running from one task to another, one meeting to the next and catching up on an unending flow of email messages help me to keep out the ghosts of the recent past, leaving me with little time to think of anything pleasant or otherwise. 

There is always the downside.  There is hardly any time for deeper reflection that comes with breathing fresh air. 

Another downside has been that I could never find enough time to indulge the many topics that I think of when I have some vacant moments.

One of them has been the thoughts of Biswanath Ghosh, an author I am beginning to like and I did not even know of until amount a month back.  Here is the link.  http://www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/writers-block-column-the-mountain-can-talk/article7383003.ece

This is the third piece in a row that where his thoughts resonate with mine. 
Whenever my wife and I go on a holiday to the hills or to a seaside destination we get into fairly massive spats over the choice of location. 

Usually I am the one who is quarrelling whenever we go to the hills because of my fear of heights.  It somehow feels so unnatural to me when humans live at an altitude.  And here is why. 
I believe that the Lord is the greatest Designer.  And He is the most utilitarian and thrifty of Designers. 

There is a never an element that does not have a reason for being where it is – whether it be the tails of animals or the unusual intestines of the giraffe that allows thorns to pass through into its waste, the numerous variations of flora and fauna and so on.  Nothing ever seems to be in the wrong place in His Universe. 

If we believe in that then humans do not belong to the hills in my humble opinion.  They cannot fly their way to the top.  They cannot clamber like the simians or the cats.  They are not sure-footed enough to be able to reach the top without falling and facing disastrous consequences, except for the few that work very hard on overcoming these natural limitations and go on to become what we call trained mountaineers.

Just think about it – and you will wonder like I do why men (and women) are fascinated by the hills. 

So I tell my wife, who cannot seem to have enough of hills and who likes to climb anything she can, hills and trees alike:  Hills are for monkeys and the plains are for men.

Ghosh does not say quite any of that.  But it appears that like me he cannot seem to let his mind be still and just  simply take in the sights and sounds on a holiday.  His mind seems to be lost or caught in this process of reflection and comparison.
The scriptures say that is not conducive to spiritual evolution, which seems to be his primary fascination with the hills ironically.
Nanni....Namaskaaram...