My initial plans for the sabbatical are
best reflected in the post that I wrote well before it started. It is a terrible piece of
writing. But it captures the plans I had
dreamt of for my leave period. Here is the link to that post. http://sgchalayil.blogspot.in/2015/11/anticipating-wandering-life.html
Now that the year is over I am able to
report that I achieved none of what I wrote about in that post. The reasons for my not being able to pursue
those dreams broadly fall into two categories.
One relates to some family related commitments that I had not budgeted
for when I wrote that post. I shall not
go into them. The other relates to my
decision to stop what I consider creative writing. At some point during the sabbatical I felt it
was just a waste. I was extremely unhappy
with my ability – or the lack of it – to write.
I decided to kick myself out of the state of delusion that somewhere in me lay the promise of a decent writer.
That brings me to the first noteworthy outcome
of the sabbatical. I have resolved not to
read any more creative writing or write any more creative stuff.
For the remaining 2793 days that I have at IIMB - from
the day I started counting down - I decided that I would divide my life into
three buckets: Family, academics and a
little bit of religion. I have not
decided how I will split my time across these buckets. But I
do pray to God to give me the good sense not to be distracted by anything
else. That perhaps is the most important
outcome.
Net net, am I happy with the way my sabbatical
turned out to be? I am unable to answer
that question. Apart from temple hopping
in North Kerala and reconnecting with comrades from my past life I wanted to learn a
lot of maths and economics. I did not
manage one bit of that. Instead I was
busy trying to ensure that I will have some deliverables to show at the end of
the one year. Learning Maths and Econ
would not have allowed me to do that – even if it made me a better finance academic!
Would I do another sabbatical if the rules
allowed me to? Absolutely not, if I am
going to be tied down by these deliverables.
I believe that the sabbatical should ideally be used for activities that
I consider “blue sky” in nature. Like reading
stuff that one will not have time to do when one is on duty. I am not sure the current sabbatical rules at
IIMB allow for that.
Did I meet the objectives I set for my
sabbatical? The answer to that would
depend on the objectives that I benchmark it against. At one
level I looked at the sabbatical as a break from seven straight years of administrative work of which the last four years were quite intense, both in terms of professional engagement as well as emotional stress. I certainly got time off from that. Did I achieve my academic objectives? I am not so sure.
That brings me to the third major outcome of the sabbatical. It made me realize that I had burnt through four long and precious years of my academic life. To put it in perspective that is the time I took to complete my PhD!
Agreeing to be Chairperson NSRCEL is one of only two decisions in my long professional life that I look back upon with regret. The one year of freedom from administrative work made me realize how much of enjoyable reading I had had to give up as Chairperson NSRCEL.
That it is an utterly thankless job that no one in IIMB probably cares a s**t about (that is the only time that my post descends into that language - I just cannot think of another word to replace it! My apologies to those who feel offended.) is less agonizing than all the reading and time with family that I missed. Just for those reasons alone I would never, ever, ever, ever, go anywhere near that Centre again!
Nanni….Namaskaaram...
That brings me to the third major outcome of the sabbatical. It made me realize that I had burnt through four long and precious years of my academic life. To put it in perspective that is the time I took to complete my PhD!
Agreeing to be Chairperson NSRCEL is one of only two decisions in my long professional life that I look back upon with regret. The one year of freedom from administrative work made me realize how much of enjoyable reading I had had to give up as Chairperson NSRCEL.
That it is an utterly thankless job that no one in IIMB probably cares a s**t about (that is the only time that my post descends into that language - I just cannot think of another word to replace it! My apologies to those who feel offended.) is less agonizing than all the reading and time with family that I missed. Just for those reasons alone I would never, ever, ever, ever, go anywhere near that Centre again!
Nanni….Namaskaaram...
