What, if anything, have I achieved in life? How do I measure achievement? A recent incident involving a dear friend brought these questions into focus.
I guess it is possible to measure achievement by the way it is recognised by the external world. Awards, accolades or popular recognition of what an individual has done is one measure. I get the impression that increasingly the world seems to value achievement measured in terms of these metrics.
The other measure is what one has accomplished, such as a great feat in sport, or solving an important problem using one's intellect, or making life better for others through one's actions or the wealth one has accumulated and so on.
There is an external dimension to this idea of achievement too. The significance of an achievement here is measured in terms of some pre-existing frame of reference or standard of achievement.
Thus one might accumulate more wealth than the currently wealthiest person or break a new record in sports or find a neat mathematical proof that has eluded everyone else so far.
On a more sublime plane our spiritual masters appear to have raised the whole idea of greatness to an absolutely objective level. A seeker in spiritualism is supposed to know when he or she has turned into a "realised" soul. There are no relative yardsticks here. There are realised souls and there are the others. There is no need for any external validation either.
Very often the second notion of achievement leads to the first. That said, from time to time, one comes across extraordinary instances of individuals taking particular care to avoid any public recognition for various different reasons. Those are truly great individuals in my opinion whose achievement has been driven by what I would describe as purity of purpose.
Those in the third category are past caring about recognition anyway. They are so past caring that they perhaps do not even take the trouble to avoid or receive recognition.
On the first and the third metrics I do not have much to show anything by way of achievement. That leaves the second measure: Have I done anything significant?
So I ask myself: As an investment professional did I produce a significant amount of wealth that few others did? Have I made any extraordinary investment that is like nothing else that anyone else has done? As an academic now how much do I know about a subject that I can claim there are things I know, problems I can solve that many others cannot? How long can I hold forth on a subject, any subject, before I flake up? As a citizen what I have done to improve the welfare for someone with whom I have no family, social or emotional connection?
All things considered I veer round to the view that I have led a shallow life all these years. I have not achieved or accomplished anything in my now long life.
Consequently I do not even know what it means to have achieved anything significant in life by any of the three yardsticks above. My ignorance of the agony and the ecstasy of achieving reminds me of one of the few poems that I ever learned at my father’s insistence. (Pasted at the end for ease of reading)
Like the blind boy who did not know that wonderful thing called light I do not know how it feels to have achieved anything.
There are two differences though: The blindness of the boy was wrought by God. My lack of achievement is my own doing (or the lack of it.) Second, I cannot justifiably say what the blind boy says at the end: But sure with patience I can bear, a loss I never can know. My lack of achievement is a loss I cannot live down.
I can go on and on, at the risk of appearing to wallow in self-pity. But I guess I have made the point.
Nanni....Namaskaaram
O say what is that thing called Light,
Which I must never enjoy;
What are the blessings of the sight,
O tell your poor blind Boy!
You talk of wondrous thing you see;
You say the sun shines bright;
I feel him warm, but how can he
Or make it day or night?
My day or night myself I make
Whenever I sleep or play:
And could I ever keep awake
With me 'twere always day.
With heavy sighs I often hear
YOu mourn my hapless woe;
But sure with patience I can bear
A loss I never can know.
Then let not what I cannot have
My cheer of mind destroy;
Whilist thus I sing, Iam a King,
Although a poor blind Boy
I guess it is possible to measure achievement by the way it is recognised by the external world. Awards, accolades or popular recognition of what an individual has done is one measure. I get the impression that increasingly the world seems to value achievement measured in terms of these metrics.
The other measure is what one has accomplished, such as a great feat in sport, or solving an important problem using one's intellect, or making life better for others through one's actions or the wealth one has accumulated and so on.
There is an external dimension to this idea of achievement too. The significance of an achievement here is measured in terms of some pre-existing frame of reference or standard of achievement.
Thus one might accumulate more wealth than the currently wealthiest person or break a new record in sports or find a neat mathematical proof that has eluded everyone else so far.
On a more sublime plane our spiritual masters appear to have raised the whole idea of greatness to an absolutely objective level. A seeker in spiritualism is supposed to know when he or she has turned into a "realised" soul. There are no relative yardsticks here. There are realised souls and there are the others. There is no need for any external validation either.
Very often the second notion of achievement leads to the first. That said, from time to time, one comes across extraordinary instances of individuals taking particular care to avoid any public recognition for various different reasons. Those are truly great individuals in my opinion whose achievement has been driven by what I would describe as purity of purpose.
Those in the third category are past caring about recognition anyway. They are so past caring that they perhaps do not even take the trouble to avoid or receive recognition.
On the first and the third metrics I do not have much to show anything by way of achievement. That leaves the second measure: Have I done anything significant?
So I ask myself: As an investment professional did I produce a significant amount of wealth that few others did? Have I made any extraordinary investment that is like nothing else that anyone else has done? As an academic now how much do I know about a subject that I can claim there are things I know, problems I can solve that many others cannot? How long can I hold forth on a subject, any subject, before I flake up? As a citizen what I have done to improve the welfare for someone with whom I have no family, social or emotional connection?
All things considered I veer round to the view that I have led a shallow life all these years. I have not achieved or accomplished anything in my now long life.
Consequently I do not even know what it means to have achieved anything significant in life by any of the three yardsticks above. My ignorance of the agony and the ecstasy of achieving reminds me of one of the few poems that I ever learned at my father’s insistence. (Pasted at the end for ease of reading)
Like the blind boy who did not know that wonderful thing called light I do not know how it feels to have achieved anything.
There are two differences though: The blindness of the boy was wrought by God. My lack of achievement is my own doing (or the lack of it.) Second, I cannot justifiably say what the blind boy says at the end: But sure with patience I can bear, a loss I never can know. My lack of achievement is a loss I cannot live down.
I can go on and on, at the risk of appearing to wallow in self-pity. But I guess I have made the point.
Nanni....Namaskaaram
O say what is that thing called Light,
Which I must never enjoy;
What are the blessings of the sight,
O tell your poor blind Boy!
You talk of wondrous thing you see;
You say the sun shines bright;
I feel him warm, but how can he
Or make it day or night?
My day or night myself I make
Whenever I sleep or play:
And could I ever keep awake
With me 'twere always day.
With heavy sighs I often hear
YOu mourn my hapless woe;
But sure with patience I can bear
A loss I never can know.
Then let not what I cannot have
My cheer of mind destroy;
Whilist thus I sing, Iam a King,
Although a poor blind Boy
What a coincidence, just a week ago, a few from my IIMB 78-80 batch were wallowing in self pity on the very same score!
ReplyDeleteMy view is slightly different. If you've been sincere in whatever you've done so far, then look hard but don't rationalize and you'd find lots to cheer about. Only you would know and none else.
Comparisons are odious and if you keep comparing yourself with some other person or standard you'll fall short unless you are vainglorious for who are we to judge ourselves by man's law.
Unfortunately that's the tragedy of civilization where we have been educated and thus indoctrinated to compete against nature itself, our very own nature and God himself or herself.
It's not easy yet no rocket science either to genuinely get out of this psychological trap to realize that you've wittingly or unwittingly made significant contributions to your family and society. If not you would not have penned your thoughts as done int his post.
Cheers
Kuru