End of Summer Break 2015...A Sequel

The second leg of Summer Break 2015 has been more defining than I had imagined, more despairing than I would have liked.

I have been happy, if not proud to describe myself as a Mallu.  I expressed my sentiments unapologetically in this post of mine. http://sgchalayil.blogspot.in/2011/03/why-i-am-mallu-and-shall-always-remain.html.

My principal source of pride has been the simple life style of the Mallu.  I have looked upon Mallus as a people who are not known for conspicuous consumption.

You might ask how does one then explain Lu Lu Mall and the hundreds of flourishing jewelries in the state.  My honest response is that I had thought that they were frequented by a certain gentry that did not represent the average Mallu whom I proudly describe by my coinage: ethnically leftist.

The display of jewelry and the waste that I saw in weddings that I attended during the second part of the break dispelled all those notions that I held about the Mallu’s minimalism.

I am equally disillusioned by the conduct that I saw and read about from my comrades in the cadre.   I am now led to believe that they are a shame to the ideals that Karl Marx expounded.  Poor Marx would turn in his grave if he were to hear about the comrades in West Bengal and Kerala today.

It is true that there are a few comrades that are still honest to the cause.  But I do not believe that they matter any more to / within the party.

I will no longer declare my Kerala identity that I proudly used to in my classes and my few other public appearances.  I will not make any effort to hide it either.  Hiding it is not easy anyways, with my accent giving away my nativity in less than ten minutes flat.

I have also had to rethink my somewhat parochial love for people from my state which I have often worn on my sleeve.  (I never let it come in the way of decisions in my professional life in any event.) I am beginning to suspect it is often misconstrued by the very targets of my warmth and friendliness. 

This is not an entirely new experience.  In an earlier post I had lamented about something similar.  Yet I persisted with my feelings for people from my home state, because of my love for the language and the leftist simplicity of the people from the state.

All of which make me wonder if I will want to come back to Kerala for another summer break or to lay my bones as I noted in my earlier post. http://sgchalayil.blogspot.in/2012/07/letting-go.html

I am not sure yet.   I do not look forward to bringing my sons to immerse them in the culture of Kerala that both my wife and I used to think of so highly.  (I am fortunate that my wife, also a Mallu like me, clings to the traditional values that seem to be fast disappearing from the Mallu society of today.)

I still value the relationship with some wonderful Mallus I know.  May be this despair too shall pass, given some time.

But as of this night, as I ride back home in the crowded and cramped unreserved coach of one of the more neglected trains, late into the evening, at well past nine, back to TVM from a social commitment that was very special to me, perspiring like one of Earl Emsworth’s pigs, I can think of two reasons that I would want to come back to my home state.

One, its nature is still pristine in spite of all that its people seem to inflict on it with seeming vengeance.  It still stands as testimony to the Creator’s sense of aesthetics.  Second, its temples still preserve the minimalism that I cherish so much, notwithstanding the spreading rapacity of some of the humans who serve there who claim to be able to intercede between the Lord and man.

And then of course, if I do decide to complete my novel I will need to spend my probation period as a writer in Kerala where the novel is partly set.

With regret I thus write the final post for the summer of 2015.

For somewhat connected reasons I continue to shrink the circulation from its peak of thirteen to nine to six with effect from this edition of my blog.

Nanni….Namaskaaram.