Viewed in
the light of all that, on balance, it has not been a bad bargain by God’s
Grace. That and the initial premise on
which I chose to settle down in an academic life together mean I that should
really not be hankering after things like promotions and other rewards.
I should
respect any further rewards such as promotions should really go to those who
will be the flag bearers of the future of the institute, in terms of research
and teaching excellence. Clearly I have
some distance to travel there. I should
not grudge their success, especially so if it has been earned on the back of
academic excellence.
On a
related note I must also note that the future of an academic institution should
rest on the intellectual achievements and level of scholarship. From the early years of my academic life I
have been a believer in the importance of research and writing, notwithstanding
the deep division that exists about what kind of research should be rewarded.
What
about should rewards for the contribution that I may have made in my
administrative roles? I say to myself that I should be happy and grateful to
God for the many opportunities that I got to give something back to the school,
be it in some of the roles such as serving on committees or interview panels or
at the office of international affairs or the entrepreneurship centre. I indeed am grateful to God and happy.
That
leaves me with one final question on this long reflection: What about rewards that should accrue with
the passage of time? That is perhaps the
most difficult question at one level. I
have always wondered should the mere marking of time at an institution constitute
the basis for being elevated to a position that offers higher pecuniary benefits.
There are
two possible ways in which someone who has spent more time may be more valuable
to an academic institution. One, the
individual may become a more seasoned teacher and be able to contribute better
to the thinking in the institution on matters such as pedagogy, curriculum
setting or on the working of committees that are mandated to shape the
direction of the institute. Secondly,
such an elevation may merely be the recognition for the cumulative contribution
that the individual may have made. Such contribution
as a teacher or as a researcher is a kind of paying forward for a deferred
reward.
But then
such a reward is truly the prerogative of the employer, even more so than it is
in the cases of where people have demonstrated that they can elevate the level
of intellectual achievement in the form of research, publications or other
academic contributions.
When all
was said and done finally I concluded that the right way to resolve the
numerous conflicting thoughts that were crossing my mind I had to fall back on
the question of what I had set to achieve at IIMB. And if I had indeed achieved those.
The
answer appeared to be an unequivocal yes.
Finally,
as I typed up this post I asked myself whether the sheer existence of these conflicts
in my mind represented an unhappiness that was casting its shadow on
unbeknownst to me. I would not
know. However much I think that I am
capable of observing myself and my innermost thoughts the nature of the human
mind is such that there might be feelings, desires, aspirations and anxieties
that one might never be aware of. It is such
unseen forces of the mind that persuade sensible perfectly people to do utterly
foolish things without their even being aware of it.
So was it
that sense of disappointment that made me write these long posts? Not as far as
I know. But one could not be sure
enough. But do I want to feel disappointed? I think I know for sure the answer
to that question. It is a clear no.
As for
the way forward for me in academe I am now very clear about how I would spend
the eight or nine years that remain in my academic life. There are four clear areas I would focus my
energies on.
First and
foremost I would strive to be as good a teacher as I can. I see that as my sacred responsibility not
just to the institution, but to the community of learners as a whole. No matter what the feedback, as long as I am
inside a classroom I will do my best to ensure that people learn sound
financial principles from me.
Second, I
intend to contribute material that will support pedagogy in finance in the form
of cases, supplementary notes and so on.
As teacher I have benefited from
such notes that have been published in other schools. I know there are many more such topics around
which there could be more notes, cases and so on. I realise that I am not a bad communicator
when it comes to writing. I am a better
writer than a speaker.
Third, I
will write on those aspects of the world of finance and entrepreneurship that
catch my fancy. These may not make any path-breaking
additions to the existing body of knowledge on these subjects. But my writings will hopefully make some of
the more involved topics more accessible to an average student of finance or
even a lay person.
Fourthly,
I hope to happily shoulder any administrative responsibility that the institute
might ask me to. My years at the OIA and
NSRCEL have reaffirmed my confidence in my ability as a tolerably effective
bureaucrat.
My prayer
to the Almighty is now to help me find happiness in this realization and to
stay on this path till it is time for me to hang my boots.
Nanni....Namaskaaram...
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